What defines you?

I enjoy making lists, so I thought it would be fun to make a list of some of the things that I feel define the type of person I am. Perhaps it’s a bit of a psychological exam.

1. Empathy: I have strong feelings toward my fellow human beings. I enjoy providing comfort to those who need it, and I take great pains to bring myself to a better understanding of every unique situation.

2. Feminism: It’s not a dirty word. If you replaced Feminism with Humanism, or perhaps Equal Rights, the message is still the same. People deserve to be treated fairly and equally. Why is it called Feminism? If you really have to ask that question, you have really lived in a bubble, haven’t you?

3. Atheism: I have been told that a lack of religion automatically makes you an evil person. Because I fear no supernatural retribution, I cannot possibly live a moral life. Is there any better explanation to show that this kind of thinking is exactly why I am an atheist? See #1 as proof that this theory has been disproved.

4. Mental Illness: I have been diagnosed as bi-polar, then it was changed to just depression with a splash of generalized anxiety disorder. Medication never helped, and believe me I have tried a lot. The problem is that you can’t label problems so easily, can you? Depression is going to manifest itself differently in many people. It is such a broad, sweeping label, and that is why pharmacology fails more often than not. What we have left are shells of our former selves, with our minds numbed to the point of impotence. What living with mental illness has taught me is that I am not alone in my struggle. I will never be so arrogant as to claim it is a gift, but I will say that it has taught me a lot about understanding people’s actions and motives. If you can learn to separate from yourself, even for a moment, you will find that the whole world opens up to you. Honestly, I live in varying shades of terror every day. I can invent a tragedy like no other. The trick is to not let it consume you, and I fear that many people have already given up.

5. Learning from my mistakes: If I wouldn’t have mended some of my ways, I never would have met my second wife. She is the fire that keeps me alive, and a great woman that I truly do not deserve. She taught me that it is natural to want to please your partner, but if you are also not doing it for the betterment of yourself than you are better off not doing it at all. Never make empty promises. Acts of service go a lot farther than any diamond necklace ever will.

Perhaps I will continue another day. It does get tedious talking about yourself.

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Just a guy writing about how depression sucks.

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