Mental Blockage

I am not really sure how to get back into the swing of things as far as writing goes. My output over the past year has been horrendous, and I don’t really see that changing anytime soon. It is not as if I don’t have quite a bit to share because I do; the words get trapped inside and only a few of them ever see the light of day. I suppose I could write about my father’s death but I don’t think I am ready to delve that deep. There’s also the death of not one, but two grandmothers to talk about. I will save all of that for another day.

This post will be short but that is OK. I needed to write something down if only to prove to myself that I could. Perhaps more is coming. Perhaps it is not.

Winter is coming (Click-Bait!)

I have been pretty uninspired as of late; it has been a week since my last posting and even that was very brief. I am afraid this one will be another short one, too. I vow that I will start writing meaningful posts again when my hair grows out to this length:

It should only take me about a year or two.
It should only take me about a year or two.

While I search for my inspiration, feel free to browse the other pedestrian titles I have to offer, and while you’re on Word Press, there are many other incredible bloggers on here. Check them out!

A Quicker Fix

I am having some carpal tunnel-like symptoms as of late, and it makes typing pretty painful for an extended period of time. So, this will be short and sweet. I want to talk to you about my love for the show Robot Chicken. It’s hilarious, raunchy, and irreverent. In other words, it’s comedy gold. Being 38 years old, I believe you do have to be of a certain age to appreciate the humor; there are many references to 1980s cartoons, movies, and TV shows. You also have to be open to being offended, because RC will poke fun at everyone. Nobody is safe. Here is one example (I did cringe at first viewing of this:)

However, where RC really gets it right is when they resort to parodies. I will leave you with a few of my favorites so far, as I am only through Season 3.

If you enjoyed those clips, check out the show. You won’t regret it. Hopefully, I will be back soon with more meaningful chatter. Enjoy your day!

P.S. I also realize that none of clips were referencing anything from the 1980s. Deal with it.

Saturday Morning Hysterics

Well, 13 is back with the tramp. I guess I should have seen this coming, having been in many dysfunctional relationships myself. If anything, it at least gives me a few more blogs worth of material.

This may or may not be me.
This may or may not be me.

They went out last night on a date, but with a few other people, too. If I can keep it like that until he’s 34, I will have succeeded as a parent. Wish me luck!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Musing #2 (Thoughts on Hemingway, 5 Years Ago)

I love Hemingway, but you have to admit that this is true:

Have you ever read Hemingway? If not, I will now perform my civic duty in explaining to you how his novels shake out so you don’t have to go through the trouble of reading them.

SETTING: Somewhere foreign. Italy, Spain, etc.

PLOT: There should be a war going on, or maybe the war just ended. Maybe the war has not started yet, but something is COMING. Preferably, the main character was injured in the war, falls in love with the nurse that, well, nurses him, and everybody drinks A LOT. The main male character hunts, fishes, and drinks. The main female character is a slut who sleeps with everyone except the main character, and is a real BITCH. Sometimes she is only a bitch part of the time.

Here is some example dialogue:

MAN: I love you, and you are a slut. Let me drink this wine, absinthe, beer, port, sherry, and smoke cigars and not care that you do not return my love; after all, I am a MAN and we don’t let emotions get in the way.

WOMAN: I know you love me, and I guess I kinda love you, too, but we can’t be together because I love you too much to stop sleeping with all of these other guys over here. I DO IT FOR YOU!

Things happen throughout the story, but mostly people just get drunk and fight with each other, and then go fishing and stuff.

Now, I will give you a typical ending:

MAN: I am going to drink this beer right here. I wonder if they have hard-boiled eggs around here?

WOMAN: Aren’t you glad that I am such a slut?

MAN: I suppose I am. You know, it does not bother me at all that I love you and can never be with you in any meaningful way… I say, is this not a fine bar?

THE END.

Sometimes the woman dies, but it’s OK. After all, dudes don’t cry.

Oh, and sometimes Jews and Blacks are BAD